dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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