I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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