Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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