You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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