no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
