My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
