I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
so much tequila, so little girl.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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