I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
