Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
There are leaves in my underwear?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
