No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
