Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
