so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
