You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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