my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
