I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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