well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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