We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
