Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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