we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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