Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
