is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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