i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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