i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize