I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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