Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
