oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
