i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
