Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
