Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
