i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
