I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
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