She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
