How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
