Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
