I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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