He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
