And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
