Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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