That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
