Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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