So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dicks are not precious.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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