It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
