everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
