hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
