I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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