I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
