i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
