i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
All the doctor said was why
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize