She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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