My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
