Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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