that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize