cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
