Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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