You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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