I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
