then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
