i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
