i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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