Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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