i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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